2014 - My year in review

I cannot believe that 2014 is almost at an end.  I write this post - my year in review - with trepidation.  To say 2014 was a roller-coaster would be an understatement.  I had one of the best years professionally, but encountered a few personal lows.  

I spent weeks freaking out about turning 30, but have since found it wasn't that bad (separate blog to follow!).  I had a few significant changes in my friendship group and have made some amazing new friends who I am so glad to have in my life.  A health scare made me realise there is more to life than just dancing all night long on a Saturday night and while I am fit, there needs to be a balance.

Overall, I would say that 2014 was an exciting, yet different year.  I can only hope to build on everything for a bigger and better 2015!

Here is my year in review (some of these questions have been taken from a previous Huffington Post blog).

What was the best thing that happened to me this year?

A few things, the most significant would be taking on my new job at a firm I really wanted to be at, in an area of law that I am passionate about.  A few other significant moments were:

• Participating in the Australian Institute of Management's International Women's Day Debate and all of the coverage that followed.
• Being named in the Who's Who of Australian Women 2015 List.
• Speaking at the Australian Women Lawyers Conference in Adelaide.
• Being voted in as Secretary of Women Lawyers Association of Queensland.
• Having the most supportive group of friends, who I was able to call at any time of the day or night to workshop ideas, or just have a good old fashioned cry and girlie heart to heart.
• Helping my friends expand into the social networking scene with blogs, LinkedIn profiles and Twitter accounts.

What did I do this year that I am really proud of?

Without a doubt, it would be the Debate.  This was a turning point in my year and the response has truly been overwhelming.  I found out a day or two before the Debate that there was something wrong with my liver (a suspected tumour) and I had just been referred to a specialist as it was suspected malignant.  The Debate was a perfect distraction from my health problems and also from  my breakup with my boyfriend that had happened over the same time.  I confided in my team members (Sara and Sharon) about my health problems and they were so supportive.

I received a text on the morning of the Debate that simply said "own the debate today".  It was great motivation and I could not have asked for a better day.  I got to stand alongside five other inspiring women as we were making our mark on such an important day for women around the world.  I am well and truly proud of the difference we were able to make. 

Who do I need to thank and acknowledge for having been there for me?

There is always a risk in answering a question of this nature that you will leave someone out.  Without a doubt the top two people would be one of my BFF's Jessica Turner and my awesome guy mate Blewie.  Jess was there for all of the moral support during my breakup, and Blewie was just amazing with all of my health problems and giving me a guy's perspective for everything (interpret tough love). 

Who else?  Dr Lois Frankel - I am so glad to have her as a mentor, her constant support and "checking in", really motivated me.  One of my other good girl friends Molly, and Cohen my guy BFF who I love to hate, have both played an important part, along with Bec, Liz, Laura, Nicole and Jelena, all girlfriends which I built a new, or strengthened a current, friendship with.  My boys were always there for me too, somehow all of them called me just when I needed it (still love the Dance Track Friday videos Mannion).

I am SO grateful for having such a great group of friends who all have unique qualities that make them the people that I love.

What is a lesson I learned?

People need to create their own life and happiness.  You cannot run your life to expectations of others as this will only create disappointment for you later in life. 

Another lesson I learned is that sometimes friends just grow apart.  I have a few draft blogs on this topic, which I just have not been able to finalise.  Dr Peggy Drexler has written extensively on the issue and I agree with a lot of her sentiments.  It is not that you no longer love and care for a friend, it is just that you grow apart, form different friendships, have different values and see the world through different light.  I still love and care for the friends that I grew apart from, I am grateful there was no "bust up" which resulted in hatred, but sometimes, even after 15 years, a friendship can run its course.  I know I went through a few life changes the past few years which contributed to me changing my whole outlook on life.  All I can do is wish those people all the best as they take on the world and achieve their goals.  Peas and Carrots.

Who did I really help?

This is hard to answer without asking others.  However, one person I know I did make a difference with is the young high school girl, CW, I mentioned in a previous blog.  She wrote to me after seeing the QB Monthly article, and we have since formed an amazing friendship.  I am so glad to have made a positive impact on her life and it is really humbling to be referred to as a role model by her.

What's something I got through that was really tough?

My health scare.  That week long wait before I had my blood tests and MRI to see whether or not the suspected tumour in my liver was malignant was the scariest week of my life.  I signed my contract for my new role in that week and resigned my then current position, which just added to the rollar-coaster of emotions.  I am thankful for all of the supportive people I had at work, who helped me through that time.

While it was confirmed that there is a 7cm tumour in my liver, I am so thankful that it is not malignant.  Just thinking about that week now is making my head spin.  I will always be grateful for Jess' call the moment I got out of the specialist appointment with the good news (no cancer!).  Best cab ride call of my life!

What character trait did I develop most this year?

This question made me realise I missed someone off my list from above (didn't I say I would forget someone!).  That person being Janine Garner, owner of LBD Group.  Each year Janine encourages members to choose their word for the year.  For me, 2014 was resilience.

It is quite ironic as I chose that word before the breakup, before finding out about my tumour and before I decided to change firms.  When reflecting on 2014, I believe I was successful in building resilience within myself.

What's next?

I am not someone who makes resolutions.  Instead I make a list of goals that I wanted to achieve, or things I want to do.  I hate the idea of an arbitrary day being required in order to make a difference in my life.  In 2014, I decided to practice what I preached and check in on myself every quarter to make sure I was achieving my goals.  I also had other little goals, such as going to a Ballet with my friend Emma (we went and saw the Nutcracker last weekend thanks to an incredible Special Counsel in my practice group at work), buying my first brand new car (which I did about a week ago and pick up on the 30th!) and joining a Committee.  Other goals had to be changed as I dealt with unsuspected situations, such as removing from my list learning Serbian.

I have not decided what goals I want for 2015.  That is on my to-do list (hmm a to-do list to do a to-do list).  Two things I have decided on - 1. I want to go overseas and am planning on tackling Yacht Week in Croatia with Laura and 2. that my word for 2015 is patience. 

Thank you to everyone who played a part in my 2014.  I only hope that 2015 is even bigger and better for all of us!  Remember to look forward to what it ahead. 

Who is she? She is, Sarah Jane

Most of Australia's female population with an interest in fashion and lifestyle would have heard of Sarah-Jane Young (and have her Instagram on refresh).  Every post online attributed to the SISJ brand is well thought out, consistent, fresh and stylish.  Sarah Jane�s online presence appears effortless and is I was fortunate enough to have her to agree to an interview so I could delve deeper into her world, one that has inspired me, and find out why she is Sarah Jane.

When looking at Sarah Jane�s website you would be forgiven for thinking that she is Superwoman.  A Magazine Editor (she is Fashion & Beauty Editor for Latte Magazine), who runs her own website with an amazing team of contributing editors and (to me) a lifestyle many would be envious of.  I love that Sarah Jane is not one of those girls who found instant success through Instagram and shameless product promotion.  With a background in advertising and marketing, who has worked in publishing and e-commerce for a fashion label prior to landing a role as a marketing and PR manager for a hair and beauty company, Sarah Jane is a walking marketing role model, who is far from reaching her peak.

One thing that also struck me about Sarah Jane is her integrity.  When I asked her what she is most proud of, her response was her WOMEN WHO INSPIRE series.  I just shake in my head in absolute awe and delight.  Sarah Jane is an ambassador for Dr LeWinn and just returned from an overseas trip to Europe with Peugeot, she is managed by The Ministry of Talent (owned by the PR Queen herself, Roxy Jacenko) and she is most proud of being able to showcase the talents of other women in order to inspire females worldwide.  What a woman! 

However, after you finish reading below and seeing Sarah Jane�s latest news, I think that her real legacy will be revealed in about four months� time (yes, I am squealing with delight at her news).

Did you ever think that your (then) blog would lead you to where you are today?

Absolutely not! I never intended for my blog to go anywhere further than a hobby. I started my blog a few years ago as an escape from my then mundane job! It was a creative escape for me and I loved that I was the boss.

Things really started to skyrocket after my internship at Grazia magazine in London. This also gave me the confidence to believe in my writing and my vision and I pushed on with the blog. It was literally like I woke up one day and I was �kind of a big deal�! Of course signing with the whirlwind that is Roxy Jacenko at The Ministry of Talent has also been amazing for exposure and job opportunities. I am eternally grateful to Rox for believing in SISJ.

What is a start to finish day look like for you?

Ha! You don�t want to know � it sometimes involves PJs and crazy bed hair all day! I don�t really have an �average day�, due to the nature of my jobs. I am always juggling a thousand different things � upcoming blog posts and collaborations, photo shoots, my social media/online plan, admin, my finances, networking, styling for shoots� the list goes on!

I do feel sometimes my mind and desk are mayhem, however, it somehow works as a big organised mess! It�s all about having a strict schedule/routine and working when you are at your best. I work very well in the morning and like to start my day with PT or exercise, followed by admin and emails until lunchtime. I will always break for something to eat or run some errands. I love playing with my two furry babies (Mika and Arbie) and then I get back to the desk for my afternoon sprint. By about 4:00pm my brain and eyes hurt and I chill out for a while � usually a true crimes or Real Housewives episode!

I will cook for myself and the hubby most nights and then we hit the gym (if we are being good!). A little bit more TV and I get back to my desk until about midnight. I am a serious night owl! I get some of my best work done late at night. This is when I do most of my writing, it just seems to flow easier than during the day.

 

I often find that many career girls associate the term �work/life balance� with working mums.  Do you think it is just as important for single professionals, or working women with no kids to embrace the work/life balance philosophy?
Funny you should mention this� I am not totally kid-free! I am actually 5 months pregnant, but it�s still a big secret! (Can you see why I squealed with delight?  How exciting and congratulations).  However, she�s not arrived yet obviously, so I can only comment on my current work/life balance � although my philosophies are similar.

I have always ensured I have a healthy work/life balance in previous roles. I believe this is the key to not only maintaining your sanity, but also true happiness. I have now been working from home on my blog and Latte Magazine now for nearly 18 months and have found it quite hard at times to really grasp that perfect �balance�. While there are so many pros not only working for yourself, but working from home, there are also some negatives. I think it�s healthy to have a workspace outside your home, as convenient as it is. My mother always drilled in the importance of a happy home and also separating environments (that�s what you get having a forensic psychologist for a mum!) � But I do agree.

I now start my day with a strict routine and have set hours for most days. Of course, this is all pretty flexible which is fantastic, but the 1am Instagram monitoring probably needs to stop! There�s no real right or wrong answer, I just listen to my body and brain and adjust accordingly. No day or week is ever the same, so it�s all about introducing some sort of schedule.

Young and successful career girls often face many challenges, one being judgment passed on their looks and not their intellect.  I have faced it before � with guys and girls and I can only imagine that you have encountered similar situations � not being taken seriously at first face value.  What message can you give other career girls to help them moving forward.

Yes, I can understand how you feel. I previously worked with a very large health organisation and was judged all the time on how I looked (and for my job title!). After I while you just develop a thick skin and people always came around, however that doesn�t mean it doesn�t hurt or was fair. I will add also, that it was always other women!

Being the old-ER and wiser woman that I am today, I can only put it down to jealousy � without sounding totally self-consumed. As a �blogger� or �social media influencer�, looking a certain way can obviously work in your favour though. I do need to add, only my good pics go up online � we ALL have bad days. In this world there are all new ways for others to insult you.  Considering my readership and followers are quite large, I�ve been pretty lucky regarding �trolling� and online abuse for how I look. The first few times it really upset me. However, after I got over it and realised I must have �made it�, I knew this vicious behaviour was on their insecurities talking.

At the end of the day, I post images of myself and have created a business based on exactly that � me. So who am I to complain when people pass judgement? I just know I will raise my daughter exactly how I was, if you�ve got nothing nice to say, say nothing at all. It�s simple.

You are always looking fabulous. Your hair, makeup, outfits. You are comparable to a walking Vogue print! Who do you draw your inspiration from? 

I will accept your lovely comment, however, after reading my last answer, these are only the pictures you see! I am super lucky I have some great friends who help me to be my best too � including my �hair husband�! We all need one.

To be completely honest � my inspiration comes from nowhere in particular.  Obviously subconsciously we style ourselves and our homes based on something we�ve seen or been exposed to, but I don�t actively seek out magazines or other blogs for inspiration. I wear what I want to wear.

I definitely have a very traditional and girlie side of me and sometimes joke I was born in the wrong era.  I think I am a 40�s girl! I like blending old with new and making it my own (This makes me love her GuessJeans shoot even more!).

Who is that one career girl who inspires you?

Georgina Chapman. She is my ultimate career and girl crush.  Aside from being incredibly beautiful, she is a successful business woman (designer for Marchesa � one of my faves!), a wife, a mother and continues to evolve with everything that she does.  I adore her.

Every career girl has that one quote they live by. What is yours?

The best revenge is living well.

A fun one - if you could post a selfie with anyone, who would it be?

Cameron Diaz! I just love her bubbly persona and I think we could totally be besties!

Thank you Sarah Jane for taking the time for this interview � I want to provide young professionals with an insight into the world of inspirational women, and give them that motivation to continue to achieve.  It is refreshing to know that not everyone woke up like this Beyonce style, that through all of your success you are proud of being able to give back and that you have shared with me such exiting news about a bubba Sarah Jane on the way.  I for one am excited to hear about the next chapter of your life and maybe I can get you back to give us an insight into the world of a working mum (and if you ever become besties with Cameron Diaz, I shotgun a photobomb in the selfie!).

Upcoming #careergirls looking to protect future wealth

Yes, the times are beginning to change if recent reports from the UK are anything to go by.  What reports and what change? 

Well, to begin with, Victoria Beckham has been announced as the top Entrepreneur for UK and has now overtaken hubby, Becks, in the earning front #lovesit. 

The other story?  Not fashion related but still in line with career driven females, are the latest reports from lawyers in the UK who are reporting a surge in requests for pre-nups from females looking to protect their future assets.  I love this on so many fronts. 

 

Females initiating a change, females forecasting ahead and planning for the worst, but most of all, females recognising that they are going to have something (even) more of value in the future that will need protecting.  Gone are the days where a woman entered into a relationship knowing that she would have brought less to the table at the beginning, earn less throughout and end up with less in superannuation at the end (ok the latter may still be a problem overall given disaparity in equal pay).  But my point is, the new generation of women coming through, i.e. my generation, are seeing a paradigm shift in the earnings front (I was going to say power front - does earnings equal power?  Let's debate that next time!).

 

I personally encourage the use of pre-nups and cohab agreements (no I am not a family lawyer), because I think its important to protect what you bring, or could bring to the table.  I have a firm belief that when you marry, you marry for life, but as a lawyer and realist, one should always be prepared for the worst. 

 

I just hope with the generational change in up and coming power females looking to protect their (future) assets, is not met with discouragement from the wider community or their partners.  A girlfriend from University called me a few years ago wanting a recommendation to a family lawyer because she had just gotten engaged and was about to have her fiance move into the townhouse that she owned.  Her parents had a lot of money, she was involved in a number of trusts, and while her fiance was not without his own earnings, she wanted to protect what her and her family had built up over the years.  He was completely happy with entering into a pre-nup because he recognised the importance of showing that there was no issue with it on his behalf.  Unfortunately, I have not heard similiar stories (one of my guy friend's said entering one at the request of his girlfriend was (to him) a declaration that she earned more).

 

Love is grand, marriage is meant to be even more grand.  But remember you had a life before the marriage, and you will need a life if the marriage fails.  If the option is available, take steps to protect your assets!

Internationally acclaimed barrister marries .... an actor

Why is this worthy of a blog?  Well firstly, said barrister is Amal Alamuddin, advocate for human rights and international refugee law extraordinaire, which is inspiring enough for a blog. Oh hang on you say, Amal Alamuddin, wait isn't she marrying? Yes, George Clooney.  Ok, so is the blog about him, because  he is certainly blog worthy!

But no, the blog isn't about him, but it is because of him and the way in which his marriage is being reported.  The gorgeous bride, Amal, is one of the most inspiring women in the legal profession (along with Jen Robinson who was also in attendance) and this is the first article which isn't pitched that she is marrying him.  This fairytale is really about the Prince who scored with marrying a Queen.  Amal has intellect, style and power.  George should be so lucky!  I'm glad this article was written, well at least it's title (the article inspired this blog if that was not already clear!).

There are so many tangents I could take this blog, one is where I query the correlation of Amal's power and success with her age of marriage (36), which I must admit makes me feel so much better as I reach the under 4 week countdown to my 30th birthday.  But it's not necessary to take away from the main message this article title shows - gone are the days when a woman is "lucky" to be getting married, she is "lucky" she is being saved and "lucky" that someone wants her, because be getting married the man is doing her a favour.  

Women like Amal are continuing to make their mark on the world.  We don't need men to survive (yes, we enjoy having you around - I am NOT a man hater), and we aren't "lucky"to have you. You are lucky to have us. Trail blazers, game changers, leading women, career girls, power women.  Call them what you want, but the most important life decision we will make is that of who WE choose to have procreational sex with, ie who we marry.  If we choose you, YOU should be so lucky. 

My new best workout buddy is Zova!

Anyone who knows me, knows that when I love something, I freaking LOVE it!  Fitness is one thing I enjoy and it helps keep me sane in what is otherwise a busy and exciting life.  I also love tweeting.  I tweet a lot!  I was therefore really excited when I was approached on Twitter about testing out this new fitness app.

I get a few requests to try things out, but a lot of the time I really cannot commit to it.  Partly because I am not keen on the product and partly because of time.  Also, I cannot stand those people on Twitter and Instagram who refer to products that you know they do not actually care about, but are just looking for something in return.

Anyway, wrong tangent!  A few months ago I was hitting a bit of a plateau with my training and since I no longer had BB to motivate me during our weekend workouts, I needed a new workout buddy!  Then along came the request to try out Zova.  I was skeptical at first because I thought that workouts would cater moreso to the beginner level and be boring (reveal: I do not do classes because I have the world's shortest attention span and I get sooooo bored!!).  I was still keen to try it out and given it was founded in Brisbane, I thought why not try and support the local guys.  Plus the benefit of testing out an app is that you get to provide your opinion.  Hey, I am a lawyer opinions is what I do best and here is my verdict:

Zova is freaking INCREDIBLE!!!

(and no, I am not getting paid to say that)

I prefer short and intense workouts and many other professional women would be in the same boat. When I saw that Zova had workouts that ranged from 2 minutes to 20 minutes, I thought this could be the beginning of a great new friendship. When I tried the "Plank It Out" workout, even though it said "hard", I was like please I plank all the time. Yeh, no, the next few days it hurt my core to even breathe. Same with the "Full Body Fitness" workout. It is only 8 minutes, but my gosh I found some new muscles.

 

Successful women are often so busy concentrating on everyone and everything else, that they sometimes neglect themselves. I challenge you all to start finding 10 minutes a day where you do a quick workout for YOU! There is no betting feeling than sweating it out and clearing your mind.

Here are some of the workouts I recommend for us busy #careergirls:

• Killer Legs & Butt
• Toned Arms & Abs
• Weekend Circuit Workout
• Ad-Break Abs
• 5 minute Push-up Pyramid (ok I kind of did this workout in my office yesterday lunch time)
• 7 minute Full Body

I am going to shamelessly plug Zova away (it is getting released shortly - keep a look out!), because I am now fully team #zovagirl. I like to be challenged daily and the endless workouts available on the app, I can be. With my 30th birthday only 6 weeks away, I also need a bit of motivation to make sure I am looking my best.

We have to take our work life so seriously, so working out should be fun!  In the words of Elle Woods 'exercise gives your endorphins, endorphins make you happy'.

Cas

Yes, I am a girl. Yes, I like sports!

I get emails and messages from young professionals around the world about different work situations and asking me now they should best deal with it.  One topic I get constantly is invitations to sporting events. 

The ladies I hear from are either invited to a sporting event as the "token" female or not invited as it is assumed they don't like sport.  Both cases are ignorant and outdated and I have been in both.  Admittingly, the best of the bad situations would be the token female invitation and then being able to hold a conversation about what is happening in said game (just don't be that overly excited female throwing beers at the poor bloke in front of you because he barracks for the other side).

But what do you do if you are not invited because (shock) you're female, and what do you do when you are told the reason why is because they "didn't think you would enjoy the game"? 

The best way to deal with it is to directly address the issue. Say something. However, if you are anything like me, in times of potential confrontation the conversation never comes out as I actually planned it in my head! 

Thankfully talking about attendance at sporting events isn't confrontational (well I hope not). Simply acknowledge what was said, but reference the sport/match/game and how you would liked to come along next time.  Might sound bold, but it works. 

It is also good to make your sporting interests known in the office. I am not talking about pinning Qld Reds flags to your desk and substituting your suit jacket for a Broncos hoodie, I am talking about making conversation with your male colleagues about the games from the weekend. Trust me - it works!!  A lot of companies also have office sports teams which are all mixed.  Joining up for the touch footy or soccer team is another great way to show your interest.

I love my sports and I really enjoying entertaining (or being entertained) at sporting events!  Just because your female doesn't mean you are completely inept with any type of sporting prowess.  A few years ago, I was sent tickets to the Ashes from a male Managing Director because he ended up being wrong on a footy rule that we were debating the weekend before at a Broncos match.  Best thing is I now have a great working relationship with this MD and he even started hosting female only sporting events - organises and pays for a box at the union/afl/cricket, gift bags for everyone going, cabs to and from the stadium and full hospitality at the game.  We need more MDs like this!

My lasting comment to you - don't just sit there and take it, but don't go to the extreme.  Deal with the situation as it comes and take proactive steps to prevent it from happening again.  In an ideal world (which will never happen), there would be no issue with female workers being asked, or attending, company marketing events that are sports related.  Until we get such ideal world, don't throw a private tantrum - DO something about changing it.

Take some "me time" - avoid a burnout (and go to a day spa)

Anyone who has ever suffered a burnout, never wants to experience it again.  It is not a good feeling and once you have been there, trust me - you will be taking steps to make sure it does not happen again!

A burnout affects people differently and for me it usually results in a "meltdown" of some sorts. I'm not talking a tantrum or the like, I am more like a balloon that has reached maximum size and is just tethering on the stages of popping.  It just takes one little "prick", and I am popped (and it is usually in response to something so little and "un-pop worthy", but I am just that on edge, it has put me over). Thankfully, over the years I have realised what I need to do in order to avoid the burnout phase.  Even with the best intentions though, I can come close to a burnout.  I don't want that for me and I don't want that for you.  As they say - every time a rubber band is stretched, while it does "bounce back", it never bounces back to the same shape it was previously.   Don't let your burnouts take you to a place you can't come back from.

Finding what works for you 

The best mechanisms for avoiding a burnout will be different for every one. 

My best good girlfriend Jessica Turner has her own blog on health and lifestyle and kindly shared her views on the importance of looking after yourself. 

I've learnt to make nurturing myself a priority. I know if I take the time to do the things which give me a sense of wellbeing and create space in my life.. I'm better at work, in my relationships and I'm just plain happier!

When I forget or ignore what my mind and body needs, I'm not the best version of myself.

Its not about being indulgent or lazy, self care is giving yourself the love and respect you deserve and truly need to for a healthy body and mind. 

My favourite ways to nurture myself are yoga, meditation, getting a facial or massage, taking a long bath and taking myself out for a beautiful nourishing breakfast at my favourite cafe. These simple expressions of self love keep me smiling.

Luckily, Jessica and I have similar mechanisms in place for avoiding a burnout.  For me, it's not just about going for the gym and doing coffee, it's about scheduling time where I have no choice but to unplug.  I love getting a massage but have never been big on getting a facial (I thought they sounded pretentious).  However, as I edge towards 30 (under two months to go!), I have been looking at ways to kill two birds with one stone - preventing the ageing process and unplugging at the same time. 

My increased work with WLAQ has decreased my available "me time", but if I want to offer myself fully to advancing women in the legal profession and also in my work, I need to be on my A-Game.  I realised recently that I needed to schedule in "me time" to unplug (and avoid a burnout) and decided to do something different (Jess' influence) and put a call out on Twitter for some day spa recommendations.  Noel and his team at Aquarius Health & MediSpa replied and organised for me to come in for a facial and use their day spa facilities.  When I walked in I thought of Louis Litt and his mud spa scene with Mike where he stands up (naked) and says "I cannot mix work with mudding", so iPhone was switched off the moment I walked in!

I had the best time at Aquarius!  I didn't realise there were so many things you can get done at the day spa (Aquarius also has Cosmetic Image Clinics for those who want to take a different route for relaxation).  I told the beauty therapist that I was not really big on facials, and her response reinforced a message I remember reading in one of Dr Lois Frankel's books - your appearance is your brand and you are judged on your appearance before you even have a chance to speak and show your worth.  I realised that if I felt like crap, all tired and sluggy, I probably looked that way too! 

While I wish I could say I spent a few hours using these facilities, I must admit to feeling a little guilty for not "doing anything", and only spent about 45mins taking advantage of the quiet (and no iPhone!).  I honestly felt so good after I walked out. My only mistake was not arranging a massage (ok ok, I have booked in for another treatment in a few weeks time and I actually don't feel guilty about it!)

Life is a marathon 

Burnouts are not a pretty thing.  As Kelly Cutrone said, young girls need to realise life is a marathon not a sprint.  No one can fully prepare you for the transition from University to a full time career, but we can give you tips and guide you.  Learn from those who have been-there-done-that.  I want all you young professional women to realise is that you need to make a habit to schedule "me time" where you can 100% unplug.  Take time to pamper yourself.  Relax, unplug and go and get a treatment - look after your health!  

Find what works for you - but do not feel guilty for spending time on yourself.  Mental wellbeing is just as important as your physical.  

Go and check your diary and schedule some "me time". 

 

Cas 

Thank you to Aquarius Health & MediSpa for giving me the royal treatment.  The staff did not know that Noel had organised the day for me, or that I would be writing this blog, which is what really impressed me about their service!  To them, I was just another customer.  I can't wait to go again.

 

 

The art of justification drinking

Ask any successful career girl what she does when she gets home from work, and the majority answer will be "I pour a glass of wine".  Why? Because she deserves it.  We all deserve it.

Right now, I am sitting here with a bottle of Wirra Wirra Church Block cracked, my first glass poured and a nice array of cheese and crackers beside me. Why? Because I had a successful week at work. When I pour my second, it will be because I had a productive weekend - gym time, catching up with friends, mentoring a University student and preparing for the week ahead. If I decide to pour a fourth, it will be because it's Sunday evening and I'm giving a nod to the week ahead (and I don't want to waste a nice bottle of red). 

In early November last year, I read an article about this type of behaviour, it's called obvilion drinking. High powered women using alcohol as a time out from doing it all. As Psychoanalyst Jan Bauer is quoted as saying, these women use alcohol to take them out of their "perfectionism". 

I am only 29, so I don't necessarily fall within the target demographic of the comments in the article, but I soon will be.  It is alarming to me, that what I see as an innocent knock off drink, could in years to come be classed as oblivion drinking. But what is the difference between an Aussie knock off drink with my fellow career girls and excessive drinking? To me, excessive would be drunk on a school night, or in the case of a weekend, not remembering what happened the night before, or well, drinking to oblivion. 

The Australian Institute of Health and Welfare says that "risky drinking" is anything more than 2 standard glasses per day.  As an Aussie, 2 drinks a day sounds like a relatively low amount to me. But when I look further into the effects of risky drinking for someone my age - pre children - I am putting the cap back on my bottle of Wirra and not having that second drink. I don't want premature menopause, increased risk of infertility and miscarriage or my brain development to be affected. Not going to lie, I do want that second glass of wine, but I value my health more than a half hour escape from reality (because quite honestly my reality is pretty good and I have no reason to want to escape into oblivion).  

How am I going to manage this in the future? Well, I won't be saying no to catch ups after work, networking events or lunches with clients. I will be saying no to the wine. I will be managing my intake and making sure other young women know the potential effects of alcohol and this concept of oblivion drinking. For now, less buttoms up, more buttoms down. 

Changes to gender diversity will come through Generation Y

Friday, 7 March 2014 was one of the greatest days of my professional career.  Why?  Because I had the honour of being one of the 6 debaters at the Australian Institute of Management's International Women's Day Debate. 

The event has been around for years and the names of the debaters are under embargo until all of the delegates arrive for the event.  The only people who knew I was doing it were BB and my employer.  It certainly added to the thrill knowing that many of my colleagues would be attending, but also started to get my nerves racking!

I have written a blog about the day and what our arguments focused on.  I was third speaker, negative team.  To say there was pressure (brought on by my own sense of competitiveness) to bring it home, make it witty yet insight and leave a last message, was an understatement.

The words I wanted to resonate with the 1500 plus people in the room was this - change will come through Generation Y (or millennial for you Americans reading).  The men of my generation are not familiar with unconscious bias.  It is "normal" for us to have female breadwinners and mums who went to work and didn't stay at home.  Sheryl Sandberg is case in point.  Her boss (Mark Zuckerberg in case you had a brain freeze), is Generation Y.  His mum worked, he gets that women can be a kick ass mother, top employee and still meet all wifey duties. 

My part of the debate is now online.  Yes, it goes for 10 minutes, but the ending is worth it - without it I would not have had my caricature in City Beat!

Making the right choice

We had our firm legal dinner on Friday night and I had an absolutely amazing time. What made it even better was a Special Counsel from my team, was asked to give the toast to the firm. Her address was amazing and also got me thinking about some recent calls I have had from some young professionals who are thinking about changing workplaces.

During the toast, our Special Counsel spoke about being in a relationship with the firm, a marriage that you both work on and develop. I agree 100%. I only recently joined my current firm, but before I made the move I did my research as I wanted my next move to be long term and I wanted a firm I could "marry". I said this in my interview - I told them I didn't want to be moving firms again in my career and the only reason I would leave was to go to the Bar.  I asked questions about the group and the firm. I probably asked too many questions, but hey you spend at least 10 hours at work each day, so it's important that you know what the environment is like. 

For me, it's about working in an environment where there is support, opportunities for growth and development and having a great fit with the work and the people. When grad lawyers come see me about "locking in" (choosing a permanent group after rotation), I tell them they need to think firstly about the work they enjoy doing and secondly the team members. You need to love what you do, but your choice of group (or workplace) should not be solely based on who works there. You never know who will move on. 

I also get emails asking for guidance on moving jobs. When moving workplaces, you my view is that you should not focus solely on the money. I'm not undermining the importance of money (we all need to live), but if you are leaving purely because of the money, talk about it with someone else first to make sure you are making the right move.

At the opposite end, is an offer with a lower than expected package. I spoke at a College if Law seminar recently on performance reviews and Rebecca Kroon spoke on employment contracts and the employment relationship. I picked up a great tip from her which I am going to pass on to you all - if your package offer is not as high as you want but you can't negotiate higher, for whatever reason, at that time of offer, then ask for a formal package review at 6 months and have it as a term of your contract. Generally probation period reviews are held at the 6 month mark, so it can tie in well.

Overall, when making a choice about moving, or locking in, think long term and talk to others for input. This is a decision you should be workshopping, and dare I say it - make a list, and compare that list with your short and long term goals. 

I hope your workplace marriage is as wonderful as mine!

Giving back

We all have the ability to give back in one way or another. Giving back does not only include donating time or money to charity. It involves so much more.

I recently interviewed Dr Lois Frankel for Gloss Magazine and the one quote that stuck with me was "when a woman entrepreneur is successful it's her responsibility to take an other woman with her". Now I am not an entrepreneur, but I think this statement applies too professional women as well. I remember when I met up with Dr Frankel in August 2013, it was just prior to my Australian Young Lawyers Conference speech and I told her how I was grappling with what to say. Do I tell these young lawyers all my "secrets" about using social media for work purposes/referrals or do I tell them enough to get started. Dr Frankel said I should share all of my knowledge with them, and they can use that information how they want (i.e. If they are motivated enough they will do something). I reflected on this after our meeting and thought you know what, she is right. I have the ability to help others grow in their careers, so why not help them 100%!

I frequently receive emails from young lawyers around the world asking for advice on how to deal with various situations in the workplace. It ranges from what to wear to Court, to the more serious workplace bullying and stigmas relating to mental illness (just don't ask me for dating advice - not my strength haha!). It takes 5 minutes of my day to respond, but could make such an impact on their life and career. Why wouldn't I give back?

Many workplaces have buddying/mentoring programs. If you have the opportunity, I would encourage you to take part. Help those younger professionals as they build the foundation to their careers. It's about empowering others, not using them as stepping stones. 

Another way you can give back, is to align yourself with a not-for-profit association or charity. I was previously Secretary of Sunshine Coast Girls Boardriders and found so much personal satisfaction in being able to put my organisational skills to use with my love of surfing. Yes, it could be time consuming, but the costs benefits analysis saw the gratitude if these young girls far outweigh the 6am start time of a Sunday. 

This morning I was invited to speak at the Beenleigh Yatala Chamber of Commerce on my background and involvement in charity and volunteer work. It was a 645am start and I live on the northside of Brisbane so was a bit of a drive. But do you know what? The engagement of those 80 odd high school students and the eagerness in their eyes makes it all worth it. I hope I've made a difference to them. 

Tonight I was also fortunate to be voted in as Secretary of the Women Lawyer's Assocation of Queensland. I cannot wait to work with Kelly as the new President and the rest of the executive in bridging the gender diversity gap. 

I encourage you all to give back. Helping others is worth every minute. 

The art of giving thanks

I am old fashioned in many ways and yes, I am gen-y but I still believe in the importance of sending a thank you note (not an email) or small gift after certain events.

Why?  Because good deeds should not go unnoticed.  Now some of you may find this hard to believe, but I have real difficulty in receiving thanks and appreciation, as are many.  I am one of those who just squirms when someone compliments me and I give a thank you and a meek smile, when really I just want them to stop. 

So when it comes time to giving thanks, I want the other person to know that I had a great time and appreciated the event/their help etc.  I will always verbalise my thanks, but there are some situations where that is not enough.

I have monogrammed cards (not personalised - just a simple "C" on the front), which I use for my thank you notes.  I love sending them - I mean who doesn't love receiving a letter in the mail these days.  Examples of when I have sent a thank you card include after my (now ex) boyfriend's parents hosted me at their house for a dinner so that I could meet them for the first time, after this lovely high school student welcomed me as her guest at morning tea one day and when a fellow career girl asked me be involved in her fashion show at a charity event. 

Depending on the situation, I might also send a gift.  Some of my favourites are Chocograms, La'Quar boxes or personalised candles.  Flowers never go out of style and after spending an afternoon at a girlfriends house pouring my heart out about my recent health scare, I sent her a bunch of flowers just to show her how much it meant to me.

I love receiving thank you notes and if I can give someone the same feeling, that just makes me smile!  My La'Quar box from Laura Chong (who featured in my City Beat article), still sits proudly in my office.  Whenever I happen to look at it, I grin from ear to ear knowing that I have such a wonderful person in my life.  Similiarly, I was recently sent the most gorgeous (and massive) bunch of lillies from someone I referred business to.  I was not expecting anything, let alone these lillies which lasted over 2 weeks and made my office smell devine. 

I simply just LOVE the act of giving thanks.  I think the importance of giving thanks has been lost in our fast-paced instantaneous world of social media and technology.

For my young career girls, here are a list of events that you should send a thank you note for:

• When clients take you for lunch, dinner or a sporting match.  The first time you are invited, you should always send a thank you note.  For every occasion after that, you can move to a thank you email, but always say thank you.
• If you are invited as a plus one to an event.  Sending a thank you note to the person who took you as their plus one is a great way to continue on building that relationship.  In the thank you note always include a key takeaway from the event.
• If you are invited to speak at an event.  Speakers often appear on an unpaid basis and receive a token of appreciation be it wine, chocolates or a personalised gift from the hosting organisation.  However, if you have been asked to join a panel or speak at a seminar, you should send a thank you note to the organiser as they have helped you with building your profile and connecting you with people you may not have otherwise met. 
• If someone refers a new client to you.  Depending on the takeaway from the new client,  you should also think about including a gift. 

Never forget the importance of giving thanks.  If not anything else, it helps you keep your handwriting in check and will put a smile on the face of another.

Australian Young Lawyers Conference 2013

Last year I had the honour of presenting at the Australian Young Lawyers Conference directly after keynote speaker His Honour the Chief Justice de Jersey AC.

My seminar focused on the importance of young lawyers using social networking to increase their profile and marketing skills in the current market.  I provided a background to social networking, tips on how best to use your time online and gave an overview of the ethical obligations as outlined by the QLS.

Thank you to the team at Queensland Young Lawyers who organised this Conference and for inviting me to present.

Date:
September 2013

Source:
http://qyl.wildapricot.org/Default.aspx?pageId=1698372

Is FOMO to blame for the sensationalisation of busy?

By now you have probably heard about FOMO (the fear of missing out) and how a driving force behind this is social media, smartphones and the culture of needing it have it now. I've been guilty of FOMO and without Facebook, I do miss out and I'm learning to accept that "fear".  I hear through second hand messages about engagements, pregnancies, even deaths, and I have missed out on social events like surprise birthdays because invites have only been communicated through Facebook. But after relinquishing my FOMO, I have also realised that those I do hear from are genuine friends and life is about making the most of what you have. 

Putting aside my FOMO issues, I also want to raise another thing I have been guilty of - sensationalising busy. When a friend calls or texts and asks how I have been, I am guilty of saying "so busy, I've been up since 4.30am, I went to the gym, had breakfast with a colleague before work, back to backs all day and now I'm racing to a networking event". Sure that was true and I do have a busy schedule, but what I wasn't realising at the time was that I was saying all of this because I thought busy equalled success. It doesn't!!  You may think by saying you are busy, people will think you are in demand or wanted and then want you too. I don't think it works that way and after a recent experience (read on), it may have the opposite effect! 

My friend wanted to know how I was. Not what I had been doing. I was actually going really great, but I didn't tell her that, instead I gave her a debrief like she was my Chief of Staff.  

A consequence of my sensationalisation came up on the weekend. I was messaging one of my best  friends as I know she is moving house soon. She has a baby under 1 year old and a fly-in-fly-out boyfriend so I asked her if she needed help packing, cleaning and moving. Her response - "I know you're busy ... I'm not going to load you up with my crap". OUCH. For one of my best friends to think she couldn't rely on me for a few hours on a weekend hurt. But I brought it on myself - I sensationalised busy one too many times. I'm the "fixer" among my friends, I'm the one they call when they need to solve a problem, I'm the one who offers solutions. I love that I can help them and I am determined to make sure I remain available to them. So here is my public apology BFF and other friends and here is my commitment to stop sensationalising busy ever again!

I cannot help but think our FOMO and our desire to share with the world what we are doing (and rightly so, our successes), has led to a culture of unnecessary busyness. This isn't healthy and I've written previously on work life balance and why I believe it is so important. I have experienced first hand the repercussions of a burnout, but it's not an experience you need to go through to learn NOT to reach that point. It is ok to have time to yourself, unwind and unplug. There is a difference between laziness and recovery. 

Now that I'm recently single, another consequence of any future sensationalisation of busyness - barrenness (but that's another blog in itself!!). 

So, next time someone asks how you've been - I want you to answer with an emotion. Happy, sad, excited, tired. Anything but busy!!

Dr Frankel just wants to see you BE BRAVE!

I recently interviewed Dr Lois Frankel for the May issue of Gloss, the premiere online magazine of LBDGroup.  It is such an amazing experience to get to speak to those who inspire you in your career! 

Date: May 2014

Source: 

http://asp-au.secure-zone.net/v2/index.jsp?id=993/1104/5258&lng=en&utm_source=Sept+2013+All+Subscribers&utm_campaign=dc21089408-GLOSS_MAY_2014&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_12ce6dff88-dc21089408-54417277

 

Should you accept the opportunity to travel away for work?

I have had a few conversations over the past months with young professionals who have been asked to travel away for work, eg a project interstate and even overseas! Their first reaction - what a fantastic career opportunity, I am so glad my work has been recognised. Their second reaction - what about my boyfriend/partner/husband? 

I have never been in this situation, but after these conversations I want to give you the following to think about. Nb these views don't address any contractual employment obligations you may have to consider. 

1. Talk it over with your partner. But don't make a decision based on any negative response you may receive. This is your life and your career! 

Overall, your partner should be happy for you - it is great to be recognised as your boss wouldn't choose just anyone to work on an external project, would they!

2. Talk about it with your boss. Ask questions - how long is the project? Is there a chance it could be extended? Will they pay for return flights for the weekend? What expenses will they cover? Can your partner visit? 

It's important to have clear expectations from both sides and it also shows initiative on your behalf. You will be investing a lot of your own time if you choose to accept so it's good to know what is expected of you. 

3. Consider what impact it will have on your job, and also your career, if you say no. This is the big one and the person likely to know the answer is your boss. Unfortunately, it could be hard to raise this without your boss thinking you are rejecting the offer. The best way to approach the topic is when you are having the above conversation about expectations. I was asked (at a prior position) to have my name put forward for a secondment and in that conversation I asked, "will it affect my career plan and chance for a promotion if I'm not in the office?". My Partner responded saying no, if anything it would increase my chance! 

Ultimately, the decision needs to be made by you.  But I know your relationship will also have an influence on your decision and it's so easy, especially at the start of a new relationship to want to devote every waking moment to your new beau (personally, this is my favourite part of a relationship!).  

There is no right or wrong answer to accepting the opportunity to travel away for a project.  Just remember that you should not feel guilted into the decision you ultimately make by your partner. Remember you have obligations to your job as well. 

Think long term when making the decision. If you have a mentor, speak to them. It's times like these that you will wish you had one, or even a business coach. It's great to have an impartial view from someone who has experience in dealing with these types of matters. I know of a few coaches including Fiona Craig (who was a lawyer in her previous life). If you need recommendations on coaches, please email me (see side panel for contact details). 

Good luck with your opportunity and make the right decision for you! 

City Beat: Legal Eagle Laura Ching is fashionably chic

Regular City Beat columnist James McCullough was on leave recently and I was honoured to fulfil his duties for the day. I had a great time finding events to report on and was able to tick another item off my bucket list - write a newspaper column! 

Here is the column that ran. 

Date:

21 March 2014

Source:

http://www.couriermail.com.au/business/legal-eagle-laura-chong-is-fashionably-chic/story-fnfli675-1226860560891

Chewy Anzac Biscuits

Most of my generation and younger won't have had the joy of growing up with Day to Day Cookery book by IM Downes. I was lucky enough to have one in my house growing up - circa 1985 edition. 

The recipes are those you would see at the CWA bake stalls and the ones your Nan would have ready for your weekly visit. 

One recipe I make year after year is Anzac biscuits. They are chewy, tasty and incredible! I made a batch yesterday to take to my girlfriend (who is also making her own batch today). 

Did you know that there is an exception to the use of the world "Anzac" specifically for Anzac biscuits, provided they are made basically true to the original recipe and are made and sold as Anzac biscuits - not cookies! 

Here it the recipe:

Ingredients 

1 cup of plain flour

1 cup of rolled oats

3/4 cup of desiccated coconut

3/4 cup of sugar

140gr of butter

3 teaspoons of golden syrup 

3 tablespoons of boiling hot water 

1 teaspoon of baking soda

Method

1. Sift flour into a bowl. 

2. Add rolled oats, coconut and sugar. Mix well. 

3. Melt butter in a saucepan, add syrup and water. 

4. Take off heat, add in baking soda and allow to foam. Pour immediately onto dry ingredients. 

5. Mix well. Make small pieces (I use a dessert spoon to scoop as a rough measurement), roll into a ball and press onto a greased tray. Leave room as they spread. 

6. Bake for 12-15mins in a 150 degree oven. 

They biscuits will be soft as you take them out. They will crisp around the edges. Don't bake until crisp as they will harden as they cool. 

If you are not a fan of the chewy Anzac biscuits and like the crunch, bake for 15-18mins. 

Enjoy with a great cuppa (tea or coffee for my non Aussie readers), while thanking our past and present troops. Those who sacrificed their time and lives for our Country deserve the highest respect and honour. Lest We Forget this Anzac Day. 

Don't leave before you have left

For anyone who saw my debate at the AIM International Women's Day debate back in March, you will already know my thoughts on Sheryl Sandberg's Lean In.  While I think her book has been fantastic in terms of raising much needed awareness surrounding the issues of women in business and gender equality, however in terms of content, personally I did not take much from the book. Except this - Don't leave before you leave. This chapter was moreso focused on women making decisions now in anticipation of what could happen in the future, eg not taking a promotion now because in 3 years you may want to have maternity leave. However, the name of the chapter suggests to me this concept is can be expanded to be used after you have resigned and while working out your notice period - don't (mentally) leave before you have left. 

I recently resigned my job and finished up in employment and workplace relations law to return to my love of insurance and personal injury litigation. At the time of resigning, I was still managing my health issues, but I made it clear to my Partner when I resigned that I was not leaving before I actually left.  The idea behind this is not burning your bridges and still producing quality work until your last day. 

During your notice period don't start taking extended lunches, don't lapse on timing of work and continue to follow up instructions from clients. Leave plenty of time for a full handover and talk with your Partner to see how they want to conduct the handover. I recommend file notes for each matter with key dates and issues highlighted, including your thoughts on the matter. If necessary, arrange a meeting with your co-worker who will be taking over the matters and ensure your secretary assists with having filing up to date. 

No matter what your reasons are for leaving a position, you should never create bad blood while working out your notice period.  Remember, you never know where you will end up in the future and you will find its a small world. Have enough respect to your firm, your Partner, and to yourself, to continue to apply yourself 100% during your notice period. You won't regret it.